Jeffro's Space Gaming Blog

Microgames, Monster Games, and Role Playing Games

An Encounter with a Sage

[Early on Saturday morning my daughter finishes looking at every picture in the GURPS Basic Set hard back book… then realizes something.]

Daughter: Let’s play that role playing thing again.

Me: What? Right now…?

Daughter: Yes! Let’s play!

Me: Uh… well….

Daughter: Please…!

Me: Well. You took that chest back to town, right?

Daughter: Yeah.

Me: You still want to take it to a sage and see what he says about it?

Daughter: Yes.

Me: Okay, it’s a pretty big city. I dunno… maybe 40,000 people live there. It’s a thriving port town with a lot of trade going through it. On the northeast side of town there’s a sage you can hire to research the chest for you.

Daughter: Yeah, we go there.

Me: You see a tall tower with windows and arrow slits all the way up. There is a staircase… and you see a sign.

Daughter: What does the sign say?

Me: It’s just got a picture of a red quill pen on it.

Daughter: What does that mean?

Me: Well, you remember that mark that Gandalf put on Bilbo’s door that meant “burgler”? This one means “sage.”

Daughter: We knock on the door.

Me: No one seems to answer….

Daughter: My ballbearian bashes the door in with his axe!

Me: Thud. The door does not bash in, but as soon as you hit it, the outline of a mouth appears in the stone of the tower. It talks! “Nuh uh huh– vandalism is sooooooo uncouth!”

Daughter: [laughing] Huh… what… what does “uncouth” mean?”

Me: At that moment a man appears at the door. He is bald and fat and is wearing a robe. “Why hello there,” he says. “Inglebert Humperdink is the name. Saging is my game. And my sagery is the most renowned in all these lands. What might I do for you?”

Daughter: “We, uh… have this chest and we want you to look at it for us.”

Me: “Oh, certainly. I have a flat rate of twenty gold pieces for routine investigations of rare curiosities. Will that do?”

Daughter: We pay him the gold.

Me: “So, where is chest you want me to look at?”

Daughter: “It’s under the iron dome.”

Me: (??) Iron dome?

Daughter: Yeah, we keep it there so no one will steal it.

Me: Okay… well…

Daughter: This sage isn’t going to steal our chest, is he?

Me: Well no, uh….

Daughter: We tie him up . He is tied up from head to foot and all he has is an eye hole.

Me: But…

Daughter: And we take him to the iron dome. We go inside. I have thirty magic-users with me. Then we show him the chest.

Me: But how does he see the chest if he is all tied up?

Daughter: The ballbearian carries him around and holds him upside down so that he can see each part of the chest.

Me: Okay, the sage is looking at the chest. He narrows his eyes and says, “Ickity pickety squiggley foo, unrez and derez and reveal-ez too!”

Daughter: [laughing] Wait… what does that talking mean?

Me: You see the chest start to glow green. And out of two gash marks on the top you see a green smoke oozing out. It spills out onto the floor and is trailing out the door right now.

Daughter: He’s stealing what’s inside my chest!

Me: He–

Daughter: The ballbearian bonks his head on the floor!

Me: “Ouch!” The sage tries to get a word in quickly: “Hey, uh… it looks like some kind of force is emanating from your chest. It could be really bad it this keeps on like this.”

Daughter: Why did you let him steal what’s in my chest?

Me: But I didn’t–

Daughter: He’s taking my gold!

Son: He’s not trying to take your gold.

Daughter: Yes he is! He cast that spell and made the stuff come out.

Son: But he didn’t cause that to happen. He just made it so that you could see it. What you should do is…

Daughter: I’M THE ONE PLAYING THIS GAME; NOW BE QUIET!

Me: Well… uh… what do you do now?

Daughter: I don’t trust this guy. I’m taking him back to the tower.

Me: Ok. You’re back at the steps to his tower. The door opens just as you return.

Daughter: We throw him into the tower.

Me: (Is he still tied up…?)

Daughter: Yeah, we just throw him in like that.

Me: Okay, the door closes after you throw him in.

Daughter: My ballbearian hits the door again.

Me: Okay, the mouth appears in the stone again. It says, “Nuh uh huh– vandalism is sooooooo uncouth!”

Daughter: [laughing hysterically] He hits it again!

Me: “Nuh uh huh– vandalism is sooooooo uncouth!”

Daughter: AGAIN!

Me: “Nuh uh huh– vandalism is sooooooo uncouth!”

Daughter: Again and again and again!

Me: “Nuh uh huh– vandalism is sooooooo uncouth!”

[Fade out]

Note: I asked my daughter later and she is 100% convinced that the sage took the gold out of the chest somehow. She does not like the sage!

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3 responses to “An Encounter with a Sage

  1. Jason Packer October 21, 2013 at 9:31 am

    Oh yes, this one is going to gravitate towards the narrative games in a big way, I can see it now. She’s got “player agency” written all over her. ;)

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